What I remember and the stuff I did while in the hospital

Hello to all.  Here is my daily update. I hope you all enjoyed that letter. I should be posting the others also. But to pick up where I left off. Like I said I don't remember much about my stay at Mary Black or ICU at MUSC.  I do remember some things though.

When I was at Mary Black apparently I woke up talking to my dad about my grandma giving permission to adopt a baby. (I was on morphine) I was apparently mean to the eye doctor coming in according to Eric. Haha I guess morphine can make me mean. I don't know. I remember having visitors. I know Kim, Erin, Stephanie, Eric, Aamber, Laura H.,Carrie and some of my family came...I was told that my friends from work came oh and Kayla practically lived there. Then Saturday night I was airlifted about 9:30. I don't anything about the flight. This was my first time flying. Ever. My firwt memory of MUSC is waking up in a room by myself. hooked to machine. I had a lunbar drain in my back to drain some of the spinal fluid and pressure of my brain. I tore it. Yes you read that right. I tore the drain out my back. Which in the end I could of killed myself. I remember yelling in pain cause I felt this stinging. A few months ago I found these papers they sent home with me, in it said the drain accidently fell out. I laughed when I read that, cause I know the truth. They put me under, when I came to, I had my hands in restrains, and mittens on my hands so I couldn't tear anything, a part of my head was shaved and was crack open with a tube and a monitor coming out of it. My mom thought I was going freak but I didn't. I was surprisingly calm throughout this whole thing. Oh my times in ICU didn't end there. The tube and monitor was long and was being held up by this pole behind me. Being blind I didn't know that. I stretched and touched the pole. Bad idea, especially when the nurse was walking through the room. She asked me if I wanted to die. And once again I was under and woke up restrained.... yeah I wish I could say that was the end. It wasn't. There was this other time I was in that trasition sleep where what was on tv worked into my dreams. I thought I was in a car tied up in a tree and I ended up pulling all my IVs out. Needless to say I was not a good patient. I was losing my mind in that room. I could of sworn they moved me to 5 different times and that my nurse Grace gave me a bath in this tube thing that you go tubing in. When they cut the tube and monitor out, I'll never forget that feeling. Not to gross anyone out, the feeling of fluid running down the side of my face and in my ear I'll never forget. I have stories to share. I can at least say that. I stayed sick that whole first week. I know all I wanted at first was apple juice, peaches, and vanilla pudding. That stuff doesn't taste good coming back up. Sorry but it doesn't. I didn't eat I think for at least a week and half it seemed like. I couldn't even smell the food without getting sick. No one could figure out why. I knew why but they didn't want listen to me. They were giving me oxycodone and that makes me sick. The last night I was in ICU, my angel nurse, Lisa read my chart and no mre sickness. The next morning I got my first taste of french toast and bacon. I loved it.

In those 3 weeks I lost 30 lbs I believe it was. Gained a lot of it back because of steroids. During ICU I remember my visitors. I don't remember Kayla coming but I know she did. Of course my mom and dad, Jenifer and her mom came. By the time they came I was all happy and talkative. My aunt Sandra and Uncle Patrick came to visit. My aunt demanded me to get better so we can go see Breaking Dawn in November. My stepsister came down, for two reasons, my niece had her heart transplant was done down there so she still has visits down there. My niece got upset cause she wasn't got upset because she wasn't allowed down to see me. On my last night in ICU I got a nice surprise, Aamber, Julia and Cory came to visit. And yes for those who know from high school it was Cory Suptin.

I had amazing support group. And I still have. I've learned so much about myself. I've learned how strong I can be. The say you never know how strong you are till you have to be. And I believe it. I've gotten to see the best in people and I've unfortunately gotten to see the worse in people. You really do find out who your real friends are when you really need them. And I'm so thankful for the ones I have, for the ones I've gained also. Everybody has been so awesome. I can sit here and think about high school and think of where I wanted my life to go. If you would of told me I would be here I would of laughed.  My life is different i can tell you that. But call me crazy, I'm happy. I have my life, my friends, my family and just started dating an amazing guy who I will talk about later on. Anyways, I hope you found some of this amusing. I know I laugh everytime I tell the stories of the ICU. At least I have a good attitude. Much Love!