Friday, January 21, 2011
9:30 P.M.
Dear You,
Today was an okay day. I really didn't do much. I hung around the house like I normally do. I had a doctors visit today. I got my stitches out. Turns out the stitches was not disolvable like they said they was. And I only gained a pound since November. For someone who just lays around that's pretty good, I guess. While waiting for the to be called there was this baby in the room that sounded so cute. It only reminded me of what I will never have. I know that I can't say that. But really if you think about it, who would want to have kids with someone who has all these health issues. What guy in their right mind who want to put up with me? The one thing I've wanted in my life and I might not ever get it. And that really hurts me. I just don't get it.
After the doctor, my dad and I went to Applebee's where I use to work. I saw some of my friends and the people I use to work with. I miss those people like crazy. These people are my family. People who have been there for me. They always bring a smile to my face no matter what. I'll never know if I'll ever be able to be back with them. Not like I use to. Things use to be so different.
All I want is some kind of sign that things are going to be okay. That I'm going to be okay. That's all I'm asking for is some kind of sign. Give me a sign
Love,
SNB
Hey Girl~I'm so glad you've started this :)I bet it'll be therapeutic just getting it out. I hate to see you think no man would want you because of this.I don't think that's true.You're so young stephanie~You have plenty time for a family~I think you'r main focus is to just get healthy and take care of you right now :) Can't wait to follow your journey.
ReplyDeleteYou don't need a man to have a child, my love! Adoption is ALWAYS an option. Plus, any guy would be completely LUCKY to have to "put up with you." I love you more than I could ever put into words. :)
ReplyDelete