Monday, August 1, 2011

Rest in peace, Charlie. Heaven got a little bit brighter

Yesterday, this world lost a great person. And everyone he knew gained a guardian angel. I'm human so naturally I want to be selfish and want him back on this earth, but I'm glad he isn't suffering anymore and is in a better place. And I know that. Charlie wasn't just my best friend, he became my angel from the start. I can tell this story over and over. So I will. Back in March, I was giving up. Who wouldn't. I'm blind, at the time it seemed I was losing everything. All I did was lay in my bed and do nothing. I cried all the time. And on this specific day, March 30th, I decided that was it, I was giving up. Just so happens, God had others plans. That same day I got this email from a certain guy that told me not to give up, that I need to have faith and that he knew life was hard but it will get better. He gave me his number and told me if i needed to talk I could call or text him anytime. Of course it was Charlie. At this point I had so many people send me stuff telling me how much they admire me and I didn't need to give up and if i ever needed to talk I could call them, people I haven't seen or talked to since high school. Which I appreciated but I brushed off because I was thinking far as I know you haven't had something happen like me that so life changing that turns your world upside, how could you possibly understand. But Charlie did. He had leukemia. Two days later I texted him. Something was telling me too, so I did. And it was one of the best decisions I've ever made. From that day forward my phone never left my hand till this started to go bad and he went kind of distant with me.
I was in this darkness I wouldn't admit back then and he pulled me from it. He gave me back my life. He showed me what it was like to laugh, love and to take risk again. MUSC may have saved my life but he saved me.. He really was an amazing person. Even if he didn't so. I would tell him so many times he amazed me. He had the most beautiful little girl. She was our first conversation. He loved her so so very much. Over the next few months, he gave me a lifetime of memories. Stuff I will never forget. We did have a brief relationship and in the end he was back where he wanted to be, with his wife and his little girl. And I'm glad he got that. But to be honest he helpe me move on completely from awful 7 year thing with an ex. I'll never look at Johnny Cash, Gary Allan or Jamey Johnson the same. He got me to get over my fear of going into the movies with my vision. He was the first person who got me to watch a movie in a theatre. Lake Bowen will never be the same. We both grew in our faith in God together. Even when the odds were against us. I took a chance on getting close to him knowing this day could come. I hate that it did. I wish I could have saved him. But I know he was tired of fighting. And I'm glad he isn't suffering anymore. Anyone who knew him is lucky to know him. I'm glad I got the chance to reknow him. I told him from the beginning he had a friend till the end and I stuck to my word. I was there till the very end. I don't think Jennifer and I had left his side no more than 10 mins for his dad to spend time with him when he passed. I got to say my goodbyes to him in my own way. He knows I love him. And Just like Jennifer anytime it rains I know he will be with me. And I will see him again. I know he's watching over me. He was a great man. We both believed there was a reason why we came back into each other lives. Well I think it was so he could do for me what he did. There's no question about that.
"When I come to the end of my journey
and I travel my last weary mile
Just forget if you can, that I have frowned
And remember only the smile.
Forget unkind words I have spoken;
Remember some good I have done.
Forget I ever had heartache
And remember I have had loads of fun.
Forget that I have stumbled and blundered
And sometimes fell by the way.
Remember I have found some hard battles
And won, ere close of the day.
Then forget to grieve for my going,
I would not have you sad for a day,
But in summer just gather some flowers
And remember where I lay,
And come in the shade of the evening
When the sun paints the sky in the west.
Stand for a few moments beside me
And remember only my best."

1 comment:

  1. This is beautiful! Charlie was a good man. He will truly be missed.

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